Delighting and Loving

"For in my inner being I delight in God's law."  From Romans 7:22

Many years ago, when I'd been married only about 3 years, I was aware one day of how disappointed I was in my good husband, and it dawned on me that he could never satisfy all the longings of my heart, and that only God could.  I'm sure the Holy Spirit was telling me that all my comforts, joys, and desires would only be completely satisfied by delighting in Him, the source of all Truth, Joy, and Love.  I slowly began to recognize that my husband was not given to me to make me happy, but the Lord was going to teach me to focus on his happiness and not my own.  I did not learn this completely on that day, or in 1 year, or even in 20!  It takes daily little deaths, as my mother used to say, in many chances to die to self, to put the other's happiness first.  I am so thankful that as I would read the Bible in "fits and starts", sometimes eagerly, sometimes as a duty, and often infrequently,  the Lord showed me over and over that His desires for me were for serving, giving, loving, and not taking myself and my wants so seriously-it takes a LIFE time to learn this!  As Paul said "I have not attained, but keep pressing on...."  

It has also amazed me over and over again, how gracious and kind my husband is, even tho' I've been a nagging, mean, trying-to-control-him-wife!  On one day, I will make up my mind that I will say no words of criticism or "management" and within a few hours I've failed.  Where does my eagerness to follow Christ go?  It disappears into the insatiable mist of the hungering SELF! God has shown me His grace and forgiveness time and time again, through His Word, and through my husband's acceptance and meekness when I've put him down again and again.  So, it still takes daily "little" deaths (tho' sometimes they seem huge to this Self) and I'm still learning to be gracious and keep my mouth shut- maybe once a day?!  Oh, that I may love kindness as His Word says, in every minute, hour, and day.

Micah 6:8 says:

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,[a]
    and to walk humbly with your God?"

"Many persons want to hear what God says just out of curiosity. They want to analyze and dissect it in their own test tubes. To these persons, God may remain the great cosmic silence “out there somewhere.” He communicates to those who are willing to hear and receive Him, and willing to obey Him. Jesus said that we must become humble as little children, and God has most often revealed Himself to the meek and the humble—to a shepherd boy like David, to a rough desert man like John the Baptist, to shepherds watching their flocks, to a girl named Mary. How does God speak? How can a blind man see? How can a deaf man hear? From the beginning God spoke to man. Adam heard the voice of the Lord in the Garden of Eden. Adam had two sons, Cain and Abel, and God spoke to them. Cain spurned that which was revealed to him, but Abel was obedient to the Word of God. Abel’s response showed that a man tainted and handicapped by sin could respond to God’s overtures. Thus, in the beginning, God began by revelation to build a bridge between Himself and people."

-from Billy Graham's devotional on Micah 7:18